


When This Is All Over

by kidspawn02



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Divergence - Ymir is alive, F/F, Fluff, Historia is a badass, Idk how to angst, Kinda?????, Some pining, Time Skips, Training, i think, just girlfriends loving each other, kinda violent, yumikuri - freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-07
Updated: 2017-05-07
Packaged: 2018-10-29 07:33:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10849380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kidspawn02/pseuds/kidspawn02
Summary: Ymir falls first. Historia falls later. But no matter what, they still find each other.





	When This Is All Over

_ When this is all over. _

The thought was sprung up when she saw the girl with the golden spun hair, and those crystal blue eyes. With a pretty smile, and porcelain skin, and those soft pink cupid bow lips, that Ymir first fell in love. And Ymir fell harder when she saw the glint underneath those innocent crystal eyes, showcasing a labyrinth of intelligence and  _ potential. _

Historia (or, Christa, as she was calling herself) found it strange, when this tall freckled girl began following her, lingering behind her with thin-lipped smirks and narrow brown eyes. Ymir was persistent, certainly, but never too much so. Promising to marry her when the wars are over, and their lives are peaceful. Historia can’t imagine a world where all of this hell has faded, but its a nice fantasy, even if she doesn’t return the feelings.

But around the third year, as she dug her heels into the snow, dragging her unconscious comrade through the wind, whipping into her eyes, biting into her cheeks, and Historia realized that maybe Ymir meant a lot more to her than she realized.

And as Ymir’s arms grip her shoulders, and she stares down at Historia, brown eyes interlocking with blue, Historia swears her heart thumps too hard in her chest, dangerously, like it’s about to burst out. And her breath leaps into her throat, making her unable to spit out any words.

Because Ymir, out of all the people, saw through her facade. Saw through the curtain Historia had so carefully sewn up, not even tearing it down - but slipping behind to join her. And she  _ stayed. _

And when they make it back to the camp, Historia whispers in the dark, close enough that only Ymir can hear, 

“Do you love me?”

Ymir is silent, and Historia is worried she doesn’t hear. Or maybe she was wrong - maybe the marriage jokes were just that,  _ jokes.  _ Maybe Ymir doesn’t think of her that way, or doesn’t even  _ like  _ girls.

“Ever since I heard about you,” Ymir’s voice creeps up in the shadows, lingering around Historia, enveloping her in warmth. “And even more when I met you.”

Now Historia is silent, laying next to Ymir, as her heart seems to thump in her chest. Mostly because this is  _ not  _ what she had planned for, and everything seems to be going wrong.

“Do  _ you _ love  _ me _ ?” Ymir whispers back.

Historia cannot create words to describe that strange feeling that bursts through her chest when Ymir is close. Because she has never been in love, and she thought love was supposed to be all-consuming, always taking over her thoughts. (Which is why she swore it would never take advantage of her.) But with Ymir, it is calm. She feels  _ safe,  _ like somebody will be there to protect her. And even when Ymir is far, Historia can still feel her voice in her ear, and the curl of her fingers wrapping around her own, and can feel the butterflies that hover when she gets too close. It’s not a feeling she can put into words - no way to describe the thoughts that roll through her head when Ymir mentions marriage, even if it is a joke.

She doesn’t know what to say, and she thinks Ymir knows. The brunette curls their hands together in the dark, and Historia finds herself turning into Ymir’s embrace, burying her nose against her chest and breathing in the scents. Because everything is  _ Ymir.  _ There is no word for the scent, no prose for her eyes, and the only thing Historia can think of to describe her is  _ Ymir,  _ because Ymir is more than enough.

And maybe she has felt this way longer, she recollects as she drifts off to sleep in the warmth of her arms. Because something about this position, with the moon glowing, illuminating the curve of Ymir’s cheek, feels  _ right.  _ It feels like the first home Historia has had in awhile.

_ When all of this is over,  _ She says to herself.  _ I promise, Ymir.  _

She falls asleep.

  
  


It’s a rude awakening when Ymir grumbles, the sunlight causing the highlights in her pretty brown hair to glow through. (Historia loved her short hair, it suited her. But she also loves her long hair, because there’s more to run her fingers through.) “I’m not here for you, alright?”

In her mind, she knows its true. But her heart had deceived her and made her believe that  _ everything  _ they do is for the other. Because that’s why she’s here, isn’t it? Because she knew Ymir would be? 

The train of thought makes no sense, and she finds herself having to shake it out of her head.

She doesn’t see Ymir’s regretful gaze, watching the way that sweat has gathered in her hairline, making her glow. Or noticed that Ymir had checked every piece, every gear and every wire, in her equipment before they went on missions. Or how no matter how many times she denies that she does this for her, they still share a bed at night, nose to nose, breathing in each other’s scent. Because if being together in real life is not an option with all the chaos the world is throwing, then maybe they can find comfort and romance in their dreams, cradled within one another.

  
  


The cold press of stones against Historia’s feet drag her back to reality, but she doesn’t know if she wants to stay because  _ Ymir is on the ground, and Ymir is maybe gonna die  _ and her mind is running too fast for her to make any rational decisions, so she runs out, cups her arms around her mouth, and screams out, “I haven’t told you my real name!”

Ymir  _ has  _ to hear,  _ has  _ to want to know who Historia really is. Because if anyone is going to know, its going to be Ymir. 

And she  _ fights back  _ and her heart is leaping because Ymir will  _ live  _ and Ymir is the strongest person she knows. Mikasa, and Reiner, and even Armin are each strong in their own ways, but Ymir is strong and the  _ one thing  _ stable enough for Historia to latch onto.

When her body is spread on the cement, looking sickeningly broken on the stone slabs littering the forest ground, Historia is  _ running  _ over, kneeling down, and placing her hand on her shoulder.

“My name is Historia.” She whispers, and they lock eyes and heat pulses through Historia because what if this is the last time they ever speak? So she treasures the warmth in Ymir’s eyes, and she hopes her eyes say,  _ When this is all over.  _ Because that’s all she can think.

_ I think I love you.  _ She hums in her head as Ymir drifts off, and she prays that she awakens again so she can say those words in person.

But luck has never been on her side, and the only memory she really can hold onto is Ymir’s soft hair underneath her fingertips as she sweeps it from her face.

She watches as Ymir is taken, and her legs are frozen.

She loses her world once again.

  
  


When it is all over, they find each other again.

When Ymir sees Historia, a crown adorning her golden locks and paired with a set of civilian clothes, she smiles down at her and says, “See? This is the queen I knew you could be.”

And Historia reaches up, drags Ymir forward so their foreheads rest gently together, and whispers, “Only because of you.”

Thanks to Ymir, Historia has found a life she is proud of. A life where she can help the people living in terror within these walls, and a life where Ymir is by her side, because _by_ _Maria_ she is not letting this woman get away _ever again._

“I love you.” She says, finally, brushing her lips against Ymir’s in gentle reassurance. “I think we have a promise to keep.”

Ymir chuckles, and she nods. “I did say when it was all over.”

And their lives are complicated, and they need to wrap all of this hell up and get the world back to a place where they don’t live in fear every day, where their entire life is not trapped within one gigantic canary cage, and where they aren’t watching everything flash by at the speed of light.

But for now, they don’t focus on the future. All Historia cares about is that  _ Ymir is right here  _ and Ymir presses their lips together, arms around Historia’s waist, and everything feels right.

When it is all over, they begin something new.

**Author's Note:**

> ACK! I have never shipped two girlfriends together more than Yumikuri. Like, not even whiterose compares to these two lovely ladies.  
> I wanted to explore Ymir's obvious interest in Historia, but I didn't want it to be just Ymir pining, so it turned into Historia pining over Ymir, but then realizing that they're in love because GAY GIRLS GIVE ME LIFE.  
> Anyway, I am sick as hell and I have a headache cast up from Satan himself, so I'm going to re-watch all of Junjou Romantica and cry over my gays.


End file.
